"I'm coming out"

Sunday October 10, 2015

was the first day my girlfriend and I told anyone we were dating. We were staying at her parents house, and earlier that night we attended one of her best friend's weddings. So obviously there were a lot of feelings in the air and we couldn't hide all of them! Especially from her brother and his girlfriend. I mean, you try attending a wedding where everyone around you is kissing, dancing and expressing love while you sit in silence with the one you're dating. It was not exactly ideal.

      That night I thought I was going to be going to bed early, but Britt walked in and said that Ry wanted to talk to us..."I THINK HE KNOWS!" I hopped out of bed, with some liquid encouragement, and I was ready to finally tell someone about why my life had become so happy! Telling Ry was no big deal.  He was supportive, encouraging, and convinced us that we could tell Britt's parents without any hate from them. Ry and Sarah were right. Once we told Britt's parents the next morning, they hugged us and told us they were extremely happy that we were happy. It was the second-best moment of my life! Someone now knew, and it could only get better from there...right!? 

     Britt and I have only been together for 15 months, and since telling her family a year ago we have experienced so truly great moments together. But we have had our fair share of tough times too. 

      We met how I always planned on meeting the one I would spend the rest of my life with; we met in church. We have a HUGE heart to serve God, a want to help others. and a desire to spread love. I could probably say without a doubt in my mind, that that is our life goal. We never expected to end up in a relationship together.  At the time we became good friends I was crushing on a guy who I served in ministry with. Her and I would talk about it, and she was always supportive of it. 

      As I left the state for the summer, Britt and I grew closer. It wasn't until much later that I had a thought about her in a romantic way. You can imagine the pressure I felt with those feelings. "Are they real?" "God, what is your plan with this?" "Can I make this work with what I want to do with my life?" "God, did I do something against you?" "Are you still using me the way you want too?" I can't say that to start I was happy with these feelings, but I was definitely okay with them. Britt made me happy, and I didn't want to lose that feeling. I needed her, but who knew God would be pulling her heart in the same way!? CRAZY.

      We aren't even fully "out of the closet". For some reading this, it will be confirmation of the gossip you've been hearing. I'm fully aware that some people are going to walk out of my life, but most people that I was afraid to lose in the beginning of this have already walked away. So staying "in the closet" is only hurting us. It's only hurting the story that God could be using us for. I've done a lot with my life, but until Britt came into it I never had support like I do now. Most of my friends I was scared of telling but now know have already done one of two things: One - They walked away knowing I still loved them, or...Two - They've stayed and continued to love me for me. Either way I am happy, and I am 100% positive that God is using Brittani and I in a bigger way than we could ever imagine. 

      Advice: I know that I probably have friends who are in a similar situation. Friends who are creating their own coming out stories. Friends who are terrified, trying to figure it all out. Trying to figure out who they are. It's not easy, not even close! It's terrifying and will more than likely make you physically sick. Some people who you share this with are going to react exactly like you thought they would. Some will shock you in a multitude of ways. The love I share with Britt is more than worth it. I've had a strong support system created around me. Did I ever have feelings for other girls? No. I don't think I did. If I did it was nothing like the feelings I have for Britt. 

     When we told Britt's parents, Britt was super nervous so I kind of just spit the words out for her. I don't know if they were really shocked, but I do know that it didn't change anything. Afterwards, Ry and Sarah walked into the room playing "I'm coming out" and that helped lighten the weight off our shoulders. :) 

Telling my mom was different. I told her just a week later. I remember it was raining and I walked her out to her car. I stood there and hugged her...then the words just came out of my mouth. As she held back her tears, she hugged me telling me that she was happy if I was happy. It's probably been a little harder on my family, but they love me so I know that I can count on them to continue to love me and grow with me. 

No, it hasn't been easy and it's not all butterflies and rainbows. BUT it has been worth it. Why would I share the bad, when we have so much good to look forward to? Coming out is a beautiful experience. It should be a good thing! 

Thank you to all of our support team! Friends, family, strangers...we love and appreciate you all so much!